I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
