I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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