is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
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Your topless pictures make me question reality
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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