We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.