need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder