Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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  (646): So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit." http://tfl.nu/5gls
  Replies (31) Good night (978) Bad night (4683)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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  (612): Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg http://tfl.nu/5ras
  Replies (19) Good night (740) Bad night (3710) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry

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  (816): I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry http://tfl.nu/7m65
  Replies (25) Good night (797) Bad night (4338) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?

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  (319): Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota? http://tfl.nu/4k6s
  Replies (48) Good night (1081) Bad night (3302) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.

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  (925): It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article. http://tfl.nu/yngr
  Replies (44) Good night (1234) Bad night (5259) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.

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  (317): she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know. http://tfl.nu/4052
  Replies (16) Good night (1097) Bad night (5629) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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  (518): All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up http://tfl.nu/3pu3
  Replies (16) Good night (682) Bad night (4873) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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  (630): The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko. http://tfl.nu/k2r0
  Replies (3) Good night (1407) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.

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  (239): Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America. http://tfl.nu/e8n4
  Replies (3) Good night (1462) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet

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  (517): I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet http://tfl.nu/acf5
  Replies (1) Good night (2114) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (+65): View more from

  Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.

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  (+65): Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences. http://tfl.nu/3qzr
  Replies (1) Good night (1200) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder

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  (706): if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder http://tfl.nu/3zsu
  Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

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  (401): I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE. http://tfl.nu/jvh7
  Replies (8) Good night (417) Bad night (1416) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.

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  (717): You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you. http://tfl.nu/xdv6
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

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  (615): Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/mm6o
  Replies (5) Good night (898) Bad night (149) Order T-Shirt

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