Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.