Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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