actually, I'm a sock model
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
