Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
