I faked an abortion last night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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