How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
