remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
