I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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