More tranny stories later!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit