My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
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Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
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That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED