when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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