dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.