i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
wow bdsm is so cute