I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk