just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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