THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
