I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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