So drunk, too bad you don't want this
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
