Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
