this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together