this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!