she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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