There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
