yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
