Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
