Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
