Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
