Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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