your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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