Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just cropdusted the office
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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