I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She even gives head with a lisp.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
