good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
only if we run a train.
done.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Terrible idea I love it
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