So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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