ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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