I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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