So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
