In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
