Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
