did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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