I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
