I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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