Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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