So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Drunk walkin through police station. America
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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