Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
