you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
