ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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