You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
