i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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