You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
