Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
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