Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life