I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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