Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
