the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
