he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
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I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
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I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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