he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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