im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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