Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
