he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
