You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
