they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
