I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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