she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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