I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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