I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
