Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Randomize
